Monday, November 09, 2015


A day or three later, and I have had adventures I never would have regarded as adventure were I not so easily satisfied just being able to come back home, especially as I never would have regarded it as home, were I not so ready to stop traveling for good.  Or certainly for better.  The downing of the plane in the desert probably by those who had no particular objective other than to wreak havoc is enough to convince me I have been everywhere I needed to go, with the exception of Barcelona.  In the meantime, which there is plenty of in Los Angeles, I seem to have recovered my ear, my tongue, or whatever it is that tunes you in to your inner melody, and I have written my first song in a very long time, or at least part of it.  And it is good enough to convince me my creative life is not over, and that makes it okay that I don't have a baby.  I remember traveling on trains with Don when we were first together and he was always afraid I would get arrested for playing too intensly with other people's babies, I wanted one so badly.  That I was able to have two was a great blessing, if we are still allowed to believe in blessings, that I was not able to keep them babies most likely the downside.  Ah, reality.  My friend Bill McGivern, the fine mystery writer and even finer human being, witty and kind and hospitable and bright, said he wished there was an invention called 'STAY BABY', that you could spray on them.  But he's dead now, so probably he would rather have had an invention called STAY ALIVE.   Or maybe not.  Maybe we are all given the run that best suits us.  Maybe a limited span is the kiss blown our way by a beneficent universe, understanding as it does that everything, in excess, becomes boring. Except love, maybe.  But even that might be yawn-inspiring after a while.  Let's see what happens with Sir Richard Branson's new daughter-in-law, Kate Winslet, on her third try out.  I remember his telling me of his father throwing him into the river, and so his finding out he could swim.  I wonder if it works out that way for romance and sex.  Well, we'll see.  Or maybe she will.